Day 4 & 5 - Pure Cardio & Plyometric Circuit

Day 4- Ok, so- I'm actually beginning to notice an improvement already!!! I made it almost all the way through the warm- up without stopping! (and let me assure you the warm-up is brutal). Fred- however, stopped completely after the warm up and I believe his words were- "F*ck this- I'm done!" lol. Well I pushed all the way through (the hardest of the week according to the demon instructor).

Day 5- To finish out the week, we went back to the Plyometric circuit from day one. Plyo- basically means jump training. I thought I'd be all smart and eat a big breakfast to fuel up for the workout...bad idea. I made it through... but not without, well...I believe you can guess...Fred finished out the week strong...I informed him we'll also be going for a walk later : )

Week one is complete- I am incredibly exhausted and sore- but so proud of myself. I really do love working out (crazy I know)- I just hope I can keep it up. Its difficult to workout and look around at all the laundry that needs to be done and kitchen that needs to be cleaned...not to mention all the renovations we are still doing on the house. But, when it comes right down to it- that all can wait. No one will die if the laundry doesn't get folded or some dishes pile up in the sink.

Putting myself first comes with its share of guilt especially when it comes to my Dad. But, guilt is useless and I deserve as much as he (or anyone else) does. I refuse to sacrifice my health or my happiness anymore. I need to be clear about my choices in life and my boundaries. Who I spend time with, what I expose myself to and how much I do for others- is a choice. I refuse to let myself be a victim to guilt anymore. I will do the very best I can, while taking care of myself first...and if what I'm doing is not good enough for someone else...well now I guess that's their problem.

The only person I need to answer to, is myself.

Tomorrow- rest day : )

Insanity- Day 2 & 3- Power and Recovery

Day Two- Power (resistence) = some more craziness!!! I started this day off with a 1.2 mile walk at 6am and did my Insanity workout after I got home from work. For today's torture not only are you jumping around until you want to puke but now the guy is telling you to squat as far down as you can...and then catapult yourself into the air as high as you can...seriously!?!?
Well, we were VERY sore during this workout from day one- but we did the best we could. I actually collapsed onto the floor and Fred about tripped over me. But...we finished!!!

Day Three- Cardio Recovery. Well when I woke up this morning and went to step towards the door I almost fell flat on my face...my calves would not budge!!! So, for the remainder of the day every single time I went to walk- I had to stretch my calves first LOL!
Today was the "recovery" day...ahem...I don't think this guy knows what recovery means. Basically, it was 33 minutes of yoga, balance moves and about 70 squats and lunges...with pulses of 16 every 16...yeah, ouch! I also got up early this morning and did Ab Ripper X (P90X). I'm finding that while Insanity is an amazing cardio and full body workout- I don't think it hits the abs all that well- so I thought I'd ad some more in.

Tomorrow- Pure Cardio....yay : (

Insanity- Day 1- Plyo Circuit

Ok- during this workout I wanted to throw up twice...almost passed out once and I am pretty sure I won't be able to walk tomorrow. But, I am proud of myself. And Fred did awesome!

Hardest part for me- my left calf (the leg with the clot) locked up after the warm-up...yup after the warm-up (which is, in and of itself, a workout)- so it was hard for me to do the jumping moves- I had to take most moves down to a lower intensity. But I kicked ass in the abs and could keep up pretty well on the drills.

Hardest part for Fred- the suicide drills (yup, you read that right). Basically jumping down and back into a push-up position, doing 4 speed push-ups, 8 mountain climbers and then jumping back up...just to do it all over again as fast as you can without a break...but he kicked ass in endurance and needed fewer rests than I did.

Day two- resistance circuit...and maybe some ibuprofen.

T minus 24 hours...

Who knew? Who really would ever think that I would have so much in common with Jillian Michaels? Really- its kinda freaky. Only child, parents divorced at age 12- sought solice in food until her 5'2" frame ballooned to 175 pounds. Also, sought solice in older men and fake IDs (sorry mom). Eventually, Jillian found her way to martial arts and the pounds started to fall...her physical body is a manifestation of her emotional well-being. Ok, so- did she read my diary or something?

Not only is she loud-mouthed and stubborn- she does it hard, really hard, all the way...or its not good enough...and she expects the same stead-fast determination from everyone else. I'm sorry Fred, I really am...

So- tomorrow the Insanity begins. Not Jillian Michaels insanity- dare I say, it seems way worse. A commitment to the hardest workout ever put on DVD and the beginning of the hardest, most effective diet.
First, of all let me say- just watching the DVD made me want to throw up. No exaggeration- I was nauseated and had to stop the DVD. I looked over at Fred and his exact words were, "I think we've got ourselves in over our heads here."

Well- we're going for it- 60 days- hopefully my next post won't be from a hospital bed : )

Ms. Fatty McFat from Fat Town!!!

Ah, here we are - Spring, the weather is getting warmer...the trees outside our new house are beginning to bud. Life is good here in our new home. Fred's work is going well, I am having increasing opportunity at my job. My heath has been ok- my leg has been giving me trouble on and off but for the most part nothing too major. Life seems...well, pretty awesome.

There is only one problem.

And I am very aware of this problem.

I let myself get fat again.

I know, laugh, its ok- the word fat usually makes people laugh...I'm not really sure why- if you've ever gained an unwanted 10 lbs you know how uncomfortable you become...well I've packed on an extra 30. Yupper, 3-0. Yeah, I know, that's a 38 week along pregnant woman...well I can assure you...no bun in the oven here.

There are many contributing factors to this problem. First of all, adjusting to working full time and a 45-50 minute commute each way has taken its toll- most of my days are 10 hours long, at best, and even if I have the energy its hard to find the time to work out as often as I need to- I know, I know- wait until I have kids right?

Also, life is stressful...I'm talking about drug addictions, alcoholism, tumors, amputations of random body parts, life-threatening organ failure- all in one year- kind of stress...

But, numero uno problem- I. LOVE. TO. EAT. Period.
...and I know I'm not alone here...however, in order to eat (a typical diet) and avoid weight gain I usually need to log about 7 hours a week in the gym, running, squatting and crunching...and watch what I eat meticulously during the week- only splurging on weekends.

I'm happy- I eat. I'm upset- I eat. I'm sad...you get the picture...if you've ever see that episode of Sex and the City where Miranda pulls the cake out of the garbage to get just one more bite...and has to spray Windex on the cake to keep from eating it...I laughed so hard, not from the obsurdity of it, but from the familiarity.

I see other women out there that never have to count and watch and calculate how much weight a piece of cake will cost them...I envy and loathe every single one of them...and the sad thing is, most of them don't realize how lucky they are, or how much freedom they have! Having Celiac Disease only adds to this frustration...

But I know women with rocking-ass bodies that work there asses off to get it...and not only do I respect them for it- I want to BE THEM. I felt I was close once...2005- I was a size 6
(now I'm a 12) and in the best shape of my life...I want that again. That feeling of lightness, strength, endurance, happiness...and not about the size I wear (we all know that doesn't really matter)- I want to look as happy as I am and I want to stop being self-conscience of my body...and to be perfectly honest I just want all my fucking clothes to fit again!!!

I started back on the journey last summer and was doing really well...but I'm famous for falling off that wagon and the results recently have been much more drastic then ever before...is this why getting old sucks so bad?!?!

Anyway, what I'm getting at here is that I am diving into something I have never tried before...I hope it doesn't land me in the hospital...but I think it might just be the ticket...I really hope so...I know my friends, family and husband love me regardless- but I want to love me, and right now I am proud of myself but I feel uncomfortable in my own skin. I have it in me to do it- I once weighed 191 pound and wore a size 16. I can do this, I know I can. I just need to find my way back to that place...

I'll let you know when the insanity begins : )

Getting it together

A month into our new home and we are finally making head-way in getting it all together. It was surprising to me how long it has been taking to unpack! We want to put everything in its right place and that is taking awhile... We ended up getting a new sectional sofa as a gift from my mother and all new appliances were part of our loan. We also needed a new bed and ended up getting that as well. So, all and all things are coming together beautifully and we are very happy.

Tired and sore and busy...but happy.

I am also glad we went with the size and style house we did- we are finding our utility bills are equal, or less, than they were at the condo! So at the end of the month (and with our renters) we are about breaking even! Unbelievable! We are realizing we did the right thing financially. We wanted a house, but we didn't want more debt and so far it seems things are working out just as we hoped...sure we could have gotten more (and there is nothing wrong with that), but the peace of mind that comes with knowing we can afford our home, and not struggle to pay our bills every month, is awesome!

Some details of the house- our granite sink, extra deep

new stove and microwave

new fridge

entertainment center- we got a free 42' flatscreen TV when we bought our new bed and my mom had bought us this lovely electric fireplace...and since the entertainment stands are crazy expensive, we bought some shelves for $17 and made our own center- I love it and it saved us about $300!

bathroom- nothing too new here- went with the clear shower curtain and starting to put up some pictures and stuff...

and the master bedroom- still need to put up the crown molding but it is coming together. I am very happy with the color combo we went with, although I wish the grey was a bit cooler, the red reflects off of it and it looks pink- ugh! may need to fix that soon... : )

Our new home !!!

Well, we did it- we bought a house!!! And we are IN LOVE with the place. When we set out to look for a home, we had a few things in mind that we wanted- but we thought when we found the right house we would know it. I would say all together we looked at over 25 homes, this was the 3rd house we looked at. We walked in- said in unison "Wow- its so open!" and fell in love...

We almost lost this place twice- it was a bank foreclosure and they didn't want to take an FHA mortgage...we could ONLY do an FHA mortgage. In addition, after having the house inspected we realized we were over-paying by about $6,000. So, after two months of going back and forth (we first saw the home in October) on December 18th we closed!

Since December 18th we have spent every weekend and many week days rehabilitating the home and property- it was unlivable at the time of closing. We secured an FHA rehabilitation loan to help us make the repairs and to do some updating before we moved in. That process was another HUGE hassle, but well worth it in the end.
Finally, after 9 weeks of rehab we secured occupancy on February19th and started moving in!
Things are still in upheaval- we have a TON left to do and stuff is laying around everywhere- but we're in our home : )

Its amazing what this process has done for our marriage! Most people say moving is one of the most stressful things you can go through, and they're right. However, our marriage is so much stronger now. Sure we fought over tile and what to put where a little bit but we have literally built our future together and this home is making us think more and more about what we want for our future, who and what really matter to us... who we can depend on...and what the next stage in our life is. There is a lot going on in our lives right now and there is much to be unhappy about, but in our marriage we are so happy and more in love than ever!

Now, about that unpacking....