The last two months have been quite the rollarcoaster. On Mother's Day I found out that I was pregnant for the second time with, what we hoped to be, our first child. We were overjoyed. The pregnancy was textbook and everything was going very well up until my 8th week. Then, as suddenly as it could have happened, things started to go wrong. On June 6th Fred and went to the doctors office and saw our baby in an ultrasound- heart beating and looking beautiful. However, the doctor warned that there were some areas of concern and that he was not sure (50/50) how this pregnancy was going to go. And on June 8th after a night of a lot of pain we returned for a second ultrasound where we again saw our beautiful baby, only this time with no heartbeat. It was devastating.
There is nothing like having your entire life and future turned upside down in an instant. I remember this feeling all too well from last fall when I had the first miscarriage and lost my father within 6 weeks of each other. It feels as if someone has reached inside your body and squeezed your heart- it is the true definition of what heart-break feels like. Your chest aches and you are overcome with a feeling of loss and hopelessness.
After talking to the doctor I chose not to have a D & C and let things happen naturally.
So, after a very rough week my husband and I decided to continue on our vacation that we planned two months prior to the west and northern parts of Michigan. We desperately needed the time away and the time together. We started out the trek by going to Silver Lake and visiting the Silver Lake Sand Dunes. Silver Lake was beautiful and had a wonderful state park where we also stopped and had a picnic lunch.
After lunch we decided it was Dune time!
I was pooped after climbing up the dune!!! Going from three days of bed-rest and pregnant to climbing a huge sand dune is...interesting...
Then it was on to our first "official" destination, Ludington. The major draw to this area was the small town feel and the Ludington State Park- voted the Best State Park in the mid-west....and I can totally see why!
Below is the adorable and comfortable little motel in downtown Ludington. This motel will forever be remembered by us as it was the place where we said our final goodbyes to our baby...
The lighthouse in Ludinton- a 1/2 mile down the pier off of Ludington Beach.
Ludington State Park- where we hiked and fished and enjoyed the outdoors. It was a very, very foggy day and a bit colder than we would have liked- but we made the most of it and had a good time.
Fred fishing in Hamlin Lake
Then it was off to Traverse City, but we took our time and stopped in Manistee on the way up- here Fred and I are on the Manistee River.
Stopping at another state park on our way up to have another picnic lunch - while we looked out at Lake Michigan.
Our first night in Traverse City we took in the sunset and a hot air balloon show on West Grand Traverse Bay.
The next day we explored the Pierce Stocking Scenic Drive which gave us some amazing views of Sleeping Bear Dunes, Lake Michigan and the surrounding forest area.
the most beautiful views of Lake Michigan....
we loved the forest and interesting trees....
We spent the second night in Traverse City on Old Mission Peninsula's Harbor Bay enjoying a beautiful, yet cloudy, sunset.
Our third day in Traverse City we explored more of the Old Mission and Leelanau Peninsulas- above is Fred getting friendly near a 200 year old tree in Northport, Leelanau
Standing at the 45th parallel (half way between the equator and north pole)...there signs about it everywhere but I was like "yeah, and?!?!" lol!
We ended our trip the next day by taking a route home through the Manistee National Forest area where we spent some time on the various lakes and Fred caught a fish :)
Then it was back home and back to reality. The trip was exactly what we needed- time away, time for quite and spending time together away from all the craziness at home. But, coming home was hard. I cried when we stepped foot in the house remembering all that had happened two weeks prior. I have a hard time entering our spare bedroom, where we already had a few things bought for Baby.
I know time will make everything easier. One thing this has taught us is that we are closer than ever and we want the same things in life, which is wonderful. But, it is still hard and there is still a deep sadness about loosing another baby. But, we have to believe that one day things will work out- whether its having a child and everything being wonderful or finding out that maybe our lives were meant to be different then we thought. But no matter what, with children or childless, we will be happy- I know it.
There is nothing like having your entire life and future turned upside down in an instant. I remember this feeling all too well from last fall when I had the first miscarriage and lost my father within 6 weeks of each other. It feels as if someone has reached inside your body and squeezed your heart- it is the true definition of what heart-break feels like. Your chest aches and you are overcome with a feeling of loss and hopelessness.
After talking to the doctor I chose not to have a D & C and let things happen naturally.
So, after a very rough week my husband and I decided to continue on our vacation that we planned two months prior to the west and northern parts of Michigan. We desperately needed the time away and the time together. We started out the trek by going to Silver Lake and visiting the Silver Lake Sand Dunes. Silver Lake was beautiful and had a wonderful state park where we also stopped and had a picnic lunch.
After lunch we decided it was Dune time!I was pooped after climbing up the dune!!! Going from three days of bed-rest and pregnant to climbing a huge sand dune is...interesting...
Then it was on to our first "official" destination, Ludington. The major draw to this area was the small town feel and the Ludington State Park- voted the Best State Park in the mid-west....and I can totally see why!Below is the adorable and comfortable little motel in downtown Ludington. This motel will forever be remembered by us as it was the place where we said our final goodbyes to our baby...
The lighthouse in Ludinton- a 1/2 mile down the pier off of Ludington Beach.
Ludington State Park- where we hiked and fished and enjoyed the outdoors. It was a very, very foggy day and a bit colder than we would have liked- but we made the most of it and had a good time.
Fred fishing in Hamlin Lake
Then it was off to Traverse City, but we took our time and stopped in Manistee on the way up- here Fred and I are on the Manistee River.
Stopping at another state park on our way up to have another picnic lunch - while we looked out at Lake Michigan.
Our first night in Traverse City we took in the sunset and a hot air balloon show on West Grand Traverse Bay.
The next day we explored the Pierce Stocking Scenic Drive which gave us some amazing views of Sleeping Bear Dunes, Lake Michigan and the surrounding forest area.
the most beautiful views of Lake Michigan....
we loved the forest and interesting trees....
We spent the second night in Traverse City on Old Mission Peninsula's Harbor Bay enjoying a beautiful, yet cloudy, sunset.
Our third day in Traverse City we explored more of the Old Mission and Leelanau Peninsulas- above is Fred getting friendly near a 200 year old tree in Northport, Leelanau 
Standing at the 45th parallel (half way between the equator and north pole)...there signs about it everywhere but I was like "yeah, and?!?!" lol!We ended our trip the next day by taking a route home through the Manistee National Forest area where we spent some time on the various lakes and Fred caught a fish :)
Then it was back home and back to reality. The trip was exactly what we needed- time away, time for quite and spending time together away from all the craziness at home. But, coming home was hard. I cried when we stepped foot in the house remembering all that had happened two weeks prior. I have a hard time entering our spare bedroom, where we already had a few things bought for Baby.
I know time will make everything easier. One thing this has taught us is that we are closer than ever and we want the same things in life, which is wonderful. But, it is still hard and there is still a deep sadness about loosing another baby. But, we have to believe that one day things will work out- whether its having a child and everything being wonderful or finding out that maybe our lives were meant to be different then we thought. But no matter what, with children or childless, we will be happy- I know it.
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