Happy Birthday Zuzbol!!!

Had a great time last night with some friends. We were out celebrating my good friend Lori's big 29th birthday. We went to Fishbones in St. Claire Shores for drinks and pool. It was a pretty fun night, we hung out with some of Lori's work friends, super cool people, and got to catch up with a friend I hadn't seen in awhile- good times!

Glad you had a good night girl and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! : )

A gift for myself ; )

Well after months of not buying myself much of anything, except desperately needed work clothes, I thought it was time to treat myself to a new camera lens.
I got the Canon 50mm f 1.8/II - and I absolutely love it! Such a great portrait lens!Love, love, love this shot of my husband...

...and practicing with my new lens on one of my favorite models...Ms. Sugar Fatbelly

Praying for the first time in a long time.

In a previous post I mentioned that my aunt is pregnant and is very high risk. Well early Monday morning I get a message that she is in the hospital again, a clot in her calf moved to her thigh and broke off sending two small clots to her lungs (pulmonary emboli). I spent all evening Monday with her after work and was just devastated for her. She looked ill, swollen, sad...well she just looked bad. To top off the clotting issue my aunt suffers from horrible migraines...so the poor thing was throwing up all afternoon. She was showing...a lot...and had already gained a lot of weight...she is only 5' 2" like me...
Tuesday we get the results of the ultrasound. She is eight weeks along. However, she has two placenta clots in addition to the leg and lung clots, one that is small and dissolving with little danger to her or the baby...the other...destroyed one of the twins she was carrying!
No wonder she looked so big already! But seriously, how horrible!
She is back home now but on bed rest. I am so incredibly worried about her and the baby she is carrying. I love my aunt to death, she is like a big sister to me and we have always been very close...and while I would love to see this pregnancy come to full term, not at the risk of my aunts life.
I just hope that whatever happens she is ok. I can't imagine losing her. I won't imagine losing her. And I can't help but worry for myself too. My aunt and I, while close, are the most similar physically to anyone in our families. We react to medication the same way, we have many of the same ailments and abilities. And I can't help but see all of this trouble she is having and wonder if attempting to have a child myself will essentially mean risking my life. I can't help but look at her and wonder if its a forecast of my future. I sure hope not.
Auntie- I LOVE YOU...more than I can say, please hang in there.
Your "Curly Cue" needs you.

Hilarious

So, anyone that really knows me knows I love kids. I mean seriously they are hilarious! And they can get away with things you can't get away with again until your like 80!!!
Our friend Claire sent us an e-mail today of her daugther and this is what it said:

I closed the door and she wanted to play in there. This is what happened next....










Awesome.

Busy weekend...

So, last weekend was super busy...Sunday I attended my friend Mary's bridal shower (she is getting married in August). It was a fun shower and I got to re-connect with some old high school peeps...good times!

In addition to the wedding Fred and I attended on Friday night and the bridal shower Sunday; Saturday we took our nephew and niece Richie and Gentry out on the boat for the first time. They had never been on a boat before and while I was slightly worried they would get scared I was so wrong. These kids were balls to the wall! NO FEAR! I was afraid we would have a kid overboard LOL!! We caught a bunch of fish and had a great day. pst...took these with my P&S, not a good idea to bring the fancy camera on the water LOL!

man I love this little girl : )

My twin gets married!!!

This Friday we had a blast at my dear friend Patrina and her husband Tim's wedding. I was a hostess so I arrived early to help with things. Shortly after 5pm they said their vows and we partied it up at Barrister House in Saint Clair Shores. I love these two!
Patrina has got to be one of the most fun, together, understanding people I have ever met. In college we kept each other sane through 15 graduate school credits, my wedding and many ups and downs. She is truly like a sister to me...we always joke about being a Ying Yang...we're just the same only one is black and one is white LOL!!
She lives in Tennessee now so I don't see her nearly enough but we keep in touch and will always have each other's backs.
I love you girl!!! and take care of my new husband ; )
And I also got to party it up again with some of my Wayne State girls; Emily, Ellen and Sarah.

Losing a free spirit, gaining wisdom

So after a few days of consideration I decided to take myself off of social networking sites and just step away for awhile. I made the decision after realizing that in all actuality while I think the ability to re-connect with old friends and stay more connected to current friends is great, the people who are truly important in my life contact me without these websites.
They actually call me or e-mail me to connect.
I guess I just wanted to pull-back- I don't think everyone needs to know everything about me and what I am doing, and I'm learning I don't really want to know everything about everyone else either...
I don't know, the bottom line is most of the time I just really think I should be doing something else...
I am on my computer the entire time I am at work and I keep this blog (although lately I haven't had much motivation to post either)- so I think being more "unplugged" for awhile might be a good thing.
My closest friend and I will have a laugh because after months of telling her she has to join she just joined the site and now I am leaving LOL!
I'll probably re-activate eventually but in the meantime it might be nice to take a break- we'll see...

This year has been very strange for me thus far. I have noticed myself changing so much that from day to day. On one hand I am becoming more cynical- I am realizing that those who have the ability to love me unconditionally are very rare. I am becoming more introverted. While I used to jump at the opportunity to join a party now I consider whether its worth the effort to go and talk to people and put on a happy face when that day I may simply not feel happy. I find myself being more quiet in social situations and observing more and talking less- which may not always be a bad thing. I am learning sometimes it may be more important just to listen.

On the other hand I am learning to be more comfortable in my own skin. I am realizing my true worth both personally and professionally. I am able to stand up for myself, speak my mind, and I am developing the wisdom to know when to speak my mind and when to simply not bother. I am learning to pick my battles instead of running head-first into them. I am becoming more comfortable with my body, valuing all the wonderful things about it and coming to peace with all the things I would like to change.
I am learning to say "no" and for once to put myself and my needs first- even if it may not make someone else happy. I am not living anyone else's life- I am living my life and I deserve to be happy.
Most importantly I am finding peace within myself instead of searching for it from material things or other people.

I guess this might be that "wisdom" thing my mother talks about LOL...while it may not be as fun as being carefree and ignorant of the ills of life and people, it somehow feels more safe- more certain. I trust myself more and that alone is worth it.