Back to the hospital

My father is back in the hospital- acute renal failure, some heart damage and possibly a couple broken ribs. We don't know how bad all of this really is yet, we have to see if the kidneys recover or if he goes into chronic renal failure (meaning dialysis and a short life expectancy).
He's had so many problems in the past but his organs have remained strong...until now.
I feel so bad for him. He's in pain, he's in and out of it mentally. He smiles one minute and screams the next. He looks ashen and sunken and sick.
He is sick, but now he looks sick.
I don't know what will happen, I've learned there is no guessing with him or his body- but I do know he's only human.
I look at him and I am so sad. I'm sad for the life he should have had, the life I should have had.
Eventhough he's more than a pain in my neck, I still love him- he's my Dad and a part of me.
I can't look in the mirror without seeing him in myself. I feel like part of me is laying in that bed with him.
I just wish I could take it all away.